he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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