I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am mentally ready for anal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
