arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
