Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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