just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
