do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
