She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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