I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
