He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
