8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
honey bunches of taint.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
