is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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