"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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