she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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