On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
