He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's great music for shaving your balls
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
