K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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