Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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