Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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