We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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