After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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