I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your penis caused this!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
