How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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