This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize