how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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