seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
