just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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