well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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