Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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