please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
