Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
