you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
