I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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