New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
