You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Too much gin, very little bucket
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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