So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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