hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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