so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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