That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
