did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize