if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
