Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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