hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
