When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
