I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
