Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
