What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
