chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
