I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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