living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
