I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
whose ass print is on the piano?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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