O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
