"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
