Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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