either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
