i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
