So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
