I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
