people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
