When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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