i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
