I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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