My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
