Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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